Have you ever had a thought like this:
“I’m not smart or capable enough.”
“I feel like a failure.”
“My bad habits always undermine me.”
These are classic signs of self-doubt. I know, because I had these thoughts too.
And so have hundreds of other professionals in leadership roles that have attended live web-based workshops and seminars I have led.
I know this because they tell me in the chat box.
You may be surprised to learn that many of these leaders hold the highest rank in their area of expertise in their public, private or government organizations.
According to Braslow, self-doubt can be a sneaky little monster. Defined as a state of uncertainty about the truth of anything, it often manifests as questioning our abilities or worthiness.
A report by The Body Shop surveyed 22,000 people worldwide and found that the average self-love score was only 53 out of 100, meaning one in two people struggle more with self-doubt than self-love. This raises the question: why does self-doubt grip so many of us?
How do we experience Self-Doubt?
Self-doubt can manifest in our thinking, feelings, or behavior.
There are signs of self-doubt in our lives. They typically fall into these 3 categories:
Cognitive Signs
- Negative Self-Talk: Critically judging your perceived flaws.
- All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white.
- Difficulty Accepting Feedback: Taking constructive criticism as a personal attack.
Emotional Signs
- Imposter Feelings: Feeling like a fraud when facing new situations.
- Difficulty Celebrating Wins: Believing you don’t deserve success.
- Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards.
Behavioral Signs
- Procrastination: Avoiding challenging tasks or decisions.
- Seeking Approval: Constantly looking for reassurance from others.
- Difficulty Accepting Praise: Dismissing compliments as undeserved.
These signs can disrupt both personal and professional lives, causing hesitation and inaction. For example, someone may avoid applying for a job because they doubt their qualifications, which can be a missed opportunity.
Why Address Self-Doubt?
Addressing self-doubt is crucial for personal and professional growth. When self-doubt takes hold, it can:
- Hurt Confidence and Initiative: It makes us question our abilities, leading to fear of failure or criticism.
- Cause Procrastination: Uncertainty can prevent us from tackling important tasks, keeping us stuck or stressed out burning the midnight oil to finish projects.
- Block Innovation: Self-doubt often makes us stick to what’s safe rather than exploring new ideas.
- Weaken Resilience: Those grappling with self-doubt may struggle to bounce back from setbacks.
- Hurt Relationships: Insecurity can lead to tension and poor communication with others. It can make us appear needy or conversely, distant from those around us.
Addressing self-doubt helps us reclaim our confidence, feel more capable and productive, and lead more balanced, happy lives.
Root Cause of Self-Doubt
Understanding the root causes can empower us to tackle self-doubt head-on.
A poor or limited self-image leads to self-doubt by making people question their abilities, feel like they aren’t good enough, or fear failure, which stops them from taking chances or trying to grow. When people have a poor image of themselves, they may feel less worthy of a person.
According to Rouault et al, believing in your own self-worth, or having high self-esteem, helps you handle different situations more effectively, including everyday challenges. For example, people with low self-esteem tend to give up on tasks more quickly when they face failure, while those with high self-esteem are more likely to keep going.
Contributing Factors to Self-Doubt
1. Comparing Ourselves to Others
Social media often makes us compare ourselves to others. For instance, seeing a colleague’s promotions or a friend’s fancy vacation can leave you feeling inadequate. Instead, focus on your own journey and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Put your efforts toward being the best version of yourself in every way, everyday.
2. Perfectionism
Perfectionists often fear failure, believing that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. This mindset can lead to avoidance, like skipping a presentation because it’s not perfect. Embrace progress instead of perfection. Understand that a well-done, finished output is often better and more efficient in the long run than striving for perfection.
3. Past Experiences and Failures
Negative experiences from childhood or past failures can chip away at self-confidence. For example, someone who faced a lot of criticism as a child might struggle to stand up for themselves as an adult. Reframe these experiences as lessons and remind yourself that they don’t determine your future. Your past ≠ to your future!
4. Imposter Syndrome
Many successful people deal with imposter syndrome, where they doubt their achievements even with evidence of their abilities. For instance, someone may think their success is due to luck instead of hard work. Keep a record of your accomplishments and talk to trusted friends to gain perspective.
Developing Long-Term Resilience
To combat self-doubt and build long-term resilience to its negative effects, work on becoming self-aware. Self-awareness helps leaders understand their emotions and biases, which leads to better decisions. A study by Bennis, found that self-aware leaders take time to look at different perspectives before acting, making them less reactive and more focused on their long-term goals.
Also, create a personal action plan with long-term goals, and embrace discomfort by stepping outside your comfort zone. Facing challenging situations can encourage personal growth and resilience. Another study by Woolley and Fishbach found that actively seeking discomfort can boost motivation and progress toward goals.
By understanding and tackling self-doubt, we can break free from it and build a more confident, fulfilling life. I know this first hand.
I’m not saying I never experience self-doubt. But I know the tools and processes to combat it right away and diminish its impact on my life.
Self-doubt doesn’t have to define who you are.
I help my clients break free from self-doubt’s grip, so they can achieve more peace and success in their lives. Contact me at Lisa@boundlesspotentiallife.com so I can show you how to change the trajectory of your life.